In short
Break it into small, concrete steps and practise calmly where there is no pressure.
Start early, around 7 or 8, use correct names for body parts, and give a heads-up well before changes rather than springing them. Small chats work better than one big talk. Puberty usually starts 8 to 13 in girls and 9 to 14 in boys.
Last reviewed August 2026.
Use a pad, step by step
Use a pad, step by step
Learning to manage periods is a big step, and for many children clear, concrete steps can make it feel far less daunting. There is no single right way to do this: breaking it into small pieces, practising calmly where there is no pressure, and letting your child go at their own pace can all help.
Get a clean pad. Take a fresh pad, and have a bin nearby for when you are finished.
Open it and peel the strips. Open the wrapper. Peel the paper strip off the sticky back, and remove the smaller strips on the wings at the sides.
Place it in your underwear. Put the pad sticky side down along the middle of your underwear.
Finish, and keep it easy
Finish, and keep it easy
Fold the wings under. Fold the wings underneath your underwear and press gently so the pad stays in place.
Bin it, then wash your hands. When you are finished, put the used pad in the bin, and then wash your hands.
Ease the pressure
Ease the pressure
Small changes in how we talk about bodies and growing up can make a big difference to an autistic child. The aim is less pressure and more understanding, so your child can feel safe, informed and more in charge of their own body. You know your child best, so take what fits.
| Instead of | Try |
|---|---|
| Hinting or using euphemisms | Clear, literal words about bodies |
| Springing changes on them | Giving a heads-up well before |
| One big talk | A series of small chats |
| Pushing through sensory upset | Offering sensory-friendly options |
| Doing it all for them, every time | Teaching one small step at a time |
| Expecting them to just cope | Preparing and rehearsing together |
| Treating privacy as optional | Respecting their growing autonomy |
Support the changes
Support the changes
Explain changes clearly
Starting early, around 7 or 8, and keeping home and school consistent, can both help. Use correct names, and translate slang so they know 'boobs' means breasts. Visuals, and short, structured stories written for your child, can help too. Puberty usually starts 8 to 13 in girls and 9 to 14 in boys; signs outside that, or no periods by 16, are worth a GP visit.
Periods and pain
Cramps are common. Heat on the tummy, comfy clothes and quiet time can help, and a GP can advise on pain relief. Pain that stops them doing everyday things is worth a GP visit.
Body safety and privacy
Private parts are what underwear or swimwear covers. An adult only helps there for hygiene (a carer) or health (a doctor, with a parent present). No one should ask a child to keep a secret about touching, and adults look after their own private parts, never needing a child's help. If something feels wrong, they can say no, move away, and keep telling a trusted adult until someone helps.
When to reach out for help
Big feelings can be hormonal, but watch for lasting low mood, feeling worthless, or losing interest, especially past two weeks. See a GP. If your child mentions self-harm or not wanting to be alive, get help that day: Lifeline 13 11 14 (or text 0477 13 11 14), Kids Helpline 1800 55 1800, or 000.
Common questions
Questions people ask us
How do I teach my Autistic child to use a pad?
Break it into small steps. Take a fresh pad, and have a bin nearby. Open the wrapper and peel the strips. Place it sticky side down along the middle of the underwear. Fold the wings under. Bin it at the end, then wash hands.
When does puberty usually start?
Puberty usually starts between 8 and 13 in girls, and between 9 and 14 in boys. Signs outside that range are worth a GP visit. So is no period by 16. Starting to explain the changes early, around 7 or 8, can help.
How do I talk to my Autistic child about puberty?
Use clear, literal words about bodies rather than hints or euphemisms. Give a heads-up well before changes come. A series of small chats works better than one big talk. Visuals, and short structured stories written for your child, can help too.
How do I teach body safety and privacy?
Private parts are what underwear or swimwear covers. An adult only helps there for hygiene or health. No one should ask a child to keep a secret about touching. If something feels wrong, your child can say no, move away, and keep telling a trusted adult.
What helps with period pain?
Cramps are common. Heat on the tummy helps, and so do comfy clothes and quiet time. A GP can advise on pain relief. Pain that stops your child doing everyday things is worth a GP visit. You know your child best, so take what fits.
When should I see a GP about my child's mood?
Big feelings can be hormonal. Watch for lasting low mood, feeling worthless, or losing interest, especially past two weeks. See a GP. If your child mentions self-harm or not wanting to be alive, get help that day. Kids Helpline is 1800 55 1800.