In short
Break it into small, concrete steps.
Start early, around 7 or 8, and use correct names for body parts. Tell your child what is coming well before it does. Small chats work better than one big talk. Girls usually start puberty around 11, and boys around 12 or 13.
What’s in this sheet
- Using a pad, broken into five small steps
- Talking about bodies with less pressure
- Explaining the changes, and when they start
- Body safety, privacy, and when to get help
Use a pad, step by step
Use a pad, step by step
Clear, concrete steps make periods easier to learn. There is no single right way to do this. Breaking it into small pieces helps. So does practising calmly, where there is no pressure. Letting your child go at their own pace helps too.
Get a clean pad. A fresh pad, and a bin nearby for the end.
Open it and peel the strips. Open the wrapper. Peel the paper strip off the sticky back, and the smaller strips on the wings.
Place it in the underwear. The pad goes sticky side down, along the middle of the underwear.
Fold the wings under. The wings fold underneath the underwear. Press gently so the pad stays in place.
Bin it, then wash hands. The used pad goes in the bin. Then wash hands.
Ease the pressure
Ease the pressure
Small changes in how we talk about bodies make a real difference. The aim is less pressure and more understanding. Your child can then feel safe, informed and more in charge of their own body. You know your child best.
| Instead of | Try |
|---|---|
| Hinting or using euphemisms | Clear, literal words about bodies |
| Telling them at the last minute | Telling them well before |
| One big talk | A series of small chats |
| Pushing through sensory upset | Offering sensory-friendly options |
| Doing it all for them, every time | Teaching one small step at a time |
| Expecting them to manage alone | Preparing and rehearsing together |
| Treating privacy as optional | Respecting their growing autonomy |
Support the changes
Support the changes
Explain changes clearly
Starting early, around 7 or 8, and keeping home and school consistent, can both help. Use correct names, and translate slang so they know 'boobs' means breasts. Visuals, and short, structured stories written for your child, can help too. Girls usually start puberty around 11, and some start as early as 8. Boys usually start around 12 or 13, and some start at 9. Signs before those ages are worth a visit to a general practitioner (GP). So is no sign of puberty by 13 in a girl. The same goes for 14 in a boy. Some children do not feel like the gender they were given at birth. The changes still happen the same way, and the same support helps.
Periods and pain
Cramps are common. Heat on the tummy, comfy clothes and quiet time can help. A GP can advise on pain relief. Pain that stops them doing everyday things is worth a GP visit.
Body safety and privacy
Private parts are what underwear or swimwear covers. An adult only helps there for hygiene or health. That means a carer, or a doctor with a parent present. No one should ask a child to keep a secret about touching. Adults look after their own private parts, and never need a child's help. If something feels wrong, they can say no and move away. They can keep telling a trusted adult until someone helps.
When to get help
Big feelings can be hormonal. Watch for lasting low mood, feeling worthless, or losing interest. Two weeks or more is the sign to act on. A GP is the place to start. If your child mentions self-harm, or not wanting to be alive, get help that day. Lifeline is 13 11 14, or text 0477 13 11 14. Kids Helpline is 1800 55 1800. 13YARN is 13 92 76. In an emergency, call 000.
Common questions
Questions people ask us
How do I teach my Autistic child to use a pad?
Break it into small steps. Take a fresh pad, and have a bin nearby. Open the wrapper and peel the strips. Place it sticky side down along the middle of the underwear. Fold the wings under. Bin it at the end, then wash hands.
When does puberty usually start?
Girls usually start puberty around 11, and some start as early as 8. Boys usually start around 12 or 13, and some start at 9. Signs before those ages are worth seeing a general practitioner (GP). So is no sign of puberty by 13 in a girl. The same goes for 14 in a boy.
How do I talk to my Autistic child about puberty?
Use clear, literal words about bodies rather than hints or euphemisms. Tell them well before the changes come. A series of small chats works better than one big talk. Visuals, and short structured stories written for your child, can help too.
How do I teach body safety and privacy?
Private parts are what underwear or swimwear covers. An adult only helps there for hygiene or health. No one should ask a child to keep a secret about touching. If something feels wrong, your child can say no and move away. They can keep telling a trusted adult.
What helps with period pain?
Cramps are common. Heat on the tummy helps, and so do comfy clothes and quiet time. A general practitioner (GP) can advise on pain relief. Pain that stops your child doing everyday things is worth a GP visit. You know your child best.
When should I see a GP about my child's mood?
Big feelings can be hormonal. Watch for lasting low mood, feeling worthless, or losing interest. Two weeks or more is the sign to act on. See a general practitioner (GP). If your child mentions self-harm, or not wanting to be alive, get help that day. Kids Helpline is 1800 55 1800.